I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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