I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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