Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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