Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
