Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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