Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize