i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
