in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
