I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
