i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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