How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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