omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
