2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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