so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
