I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Be still, my beating vagina.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
