if i can run in heels then i can drive
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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