last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
