chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
