ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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