yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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