Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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