3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Never underestimate the power of titties
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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