is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
