Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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