2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
