ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
