if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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