im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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