I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
