im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize