thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize