I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
