my sisters under your porch take her home
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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