Nicole vs. Life
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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