i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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