Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
