Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
