his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
