we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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