i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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