He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
