Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
