drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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