Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
