Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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