Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
