she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
