Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So much rum. So many feels.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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