If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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