Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that