Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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