You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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