you guys were way drunker than both of me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize