come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
