we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
