it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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