When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
