He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
