im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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