I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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