why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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