I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
