why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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