idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
