pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
